07 January 2025

Envy and Jealousy: What's the difference? Part 3

 7 Tevet 5785 | ז' טבת ה'תשפ"ה


Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4
 





 
I have been living with the following idea for the past two years or so: The jealousy of the Living God is a good and desirable thing!
 
How am I supposed to understand this? It seems that a jealous being wouldn't be so desirable (Much less God, being this way). It could also, or instead, be the misuse of jealousy in some way.
 
...What is it?
 
Having been a native English speaker for well over 60 years, I can attest to the change in the understanding of the relationship between the words jealousy and envy in my first language. They were once very distinguishable, and now, it seems, they are not, according to dictionary definitions and the majority of people, which is as likely as not to have engendered the decision to change the definition, particularly of jealousy
 
I believe it must have started when I was a teenager. My husband, only 8 years older than I, clearly believes in the classic definition, and passed it on to me relatively recently (like, a couple of years ago at this writing).
 
The words we are discussing in the Biblical Hebrew (known as Lashon haQodesh לשון הקודש in the original) are as follows (the polite way):
 
  • HaShem Kanáh (קאל קנא) = God is jealous  
  • Lo Tahmód (לא תחמוד) = Do not covet [and I also translate as a synonym, do not envy.  - HDG]
 

As you can see from the Hebrew words themselves, there is no commandment that says, do not be jealous. But it does say, do not covet (or, envy) — twice, for good measure — and it goes further later in the sentence and spells out what you should not desire for yourself which belongs, or is in relationship to, another. 

Coveting and envying, if left to fester, both end in stealing and worse. We might want to take a tip from the Hebrew words, which have not even a single letter in common.

As I wrote above (in part 1), modern Hebrew shares our confusion. The Hebrew Language Academy (HLA) hasn't accepted the translation above of tahmod...yet. So, the conflating of these words has the effect of putting God in a bad light, even in translations between Hebrew and English.

 
It seems to me that He is accused of coveting, the prohibition of which is the last of the 10 Commandments! 
 
How do I think that come about (or is this even an original thought)?

When jealousy and envy are interchangeable, it means that the subject of either of these words is coveting the object. A person covets their own spouse or their neighbor's car. It makes no difference. It means that there are no boundaries on either side. This is why we must keep these words apart, as they used to be, and still are in the Biblical Hebrew that is mostly studied by Jews (and Noahides, within their own boundaries). 
 
One of the outcomes of the confusion of these terms is the translation of the modern Hebrew term קנאי (ka-na-EE) in modern English dictionaries as both jealous and envious (from my 17-year-old Oxford Hebrew-English dictionary. Google Translate on my phone translates envious as מקנה m'ka-NEH. Same root, different form. Only the emphasis changes.) 
 
To the Hebrew Language Academy, I would suggest the verb lahmód לחמוד for to envy, as well as to covet, to which it already translates. It would have the proper emphasis on the person wanting to possess what is not his/hers, which was the original English meaning, as well as the Hebrew.
 
 
It's important to note that the person finding him- or herself jealous has the relationship (most appropriately, the marriage), the work contract, owns the home, the land, etc., so there are boundaries around what s/he has and must protect. The envious person, on the other hand, has potentially no boundaries about what s/he will do to appropriate (i.e., steal) the property or person of another, and has no valid relationship or ownership with the object of their coveting. The same feelings apply, but the relationships between the jealous and the covetous/envious people and their object(s) are opposites. 
 
To clarify, I'm not saying that everyone who envies another is stealing the object of their envy actively. But at the very least, they wish they could, if they're honest with themselves. Most, if not all, of us have tendencies in this direction at some time or another. And, yes, I include myself as well, at one time or another.

I might assume that these feelings and traits are more associated with men, but I didn't want to exclude women! We have these struggles too.

***
 
We have a short review of a few of the top definitions cited online.
 
 I think this site is very confused as to the difference. It's not a matter of what it feels like, but whether the writer can clearly distinguish them.
 
This site is much less confused about the definition, with the exception that at the bottom of the page, it considers Christians to be the "owner" of  the Jealous God (the quote from that site is "In the Bible, you can find reference to a jealous God in Exodus 20:4-5. In this context jealousy is used to mean worshiping only the one true Christian God and not other Gods.") 
 
Comment from me:
Par-don-Me!?! Jews — particularly those who have actually read and studied them — are jealous over our understanding of God and the texts He gave us. Considering that the reference is in Exodus (as linked to above), a clearly Jewish text that we call SH'MOT שמות in Hebrew, after its first key word, with a plainly Jewish context ("the Exodus from Egypt") that people who know it don't deny, I find it outrageous. It only adds to the confusion, this exclusion of Jews from their prerogative of JEALOUSY OVER THE LAND (that Jared Kushner recently claimed we were "eating up" in the context of the USA's "2-state solution" plan) as well as over who GOD is. 
 
No, we don't own HIM. HE made the original covenant with US, the Jews.  
 
He doesn't change His mind! His perspective is FOREVER! Our government would not be successful at gaining any part of the Land He promised us, from around us, if He were not involved. They don't even desire to do so; they are doing some of the job because of the request referred to in the above video, and under threat at the same time.
 
It's not a matter of political correctness, either, dear reader, in case you're wondering. It's a matter of the fact that there were neither Christians nor Muslims around during the times of the Israelite emancipation from the slavery of the Egyptians. But there were Ishmaelites, as well as other desert-dwellers. The Ishmaelites drove caravans, along with other nations, to Egypt quite frequently. And between them and the Midianites, they carried Joseph to Mitzrayim (its Hebrew name) when he was sold some 200 years prior.
 
Consider what I wrote 5 years ago, here and here. I also commented here (R' Sprecher's "Pharaoh — The Original Anti-Semite!").
 
It seems to me that both Islam and Christianity need to appropriate the "Jealous God" from the Jews because they just can't let go of the "Old Testament"...just try to imagine either of them without the Five Books of Moses, the Writings and the Prophets, even as they ignore and disdain them.

Back to the definitions...
 
6 Main Differences between Jealousy and Envy also is very clear, and doesn't carry the religious baggage. 
 
More links in this SEARCH Decide for yourself whether other sites are clear or confused on this issue. From the clear definitions comes the opinion that envy and jealousy deal with a lot of the same stories and scenarios, but differ regarding the point of view. This is important when considering Whom we are discussing.

TO SUM UP
 
Jealousy is generally about something you possess or own — a quality or an item — or a relationship you actually have, being appropriated or stolen by someone else. A close synonym is zeal.
 
Envy is about wanting to possess or own — or have a relationship with — something that, or someone who, is not yours to relate to, have or own. 
 
Covet, and its various forms, the word in English used to denote the subject of the Tenth Commandment, is associated with the latter.

While many people — and even dictionaries in English — consider jealousy and envy synonymous nowadays, when it comes to certain issues...studying Torah in its original ancient language comes to mind, and bringing it to modern minds has been the next step...it is important to separate out the differences.  
 
Only the desire to be as precise as I can possibly be, along with "life" itself, has delayed me. And, I still think I may have failed. It is, as I wrote in the beginning, a difficult subject. More than anything else, I would like to see people thinking about it
 
Maybe you have a better way of expressing it?
 
One of the outcomes of the confusion of these terms is the translation of the modern Hebrew term קנאי (ka-na-EE) in modern English dictionaries as both jealous and envious (from my 17-year-old Oxford Hebrew-English dictionary. Google Translate on my phone translates envious as מקנה m'ka-NEH. Same root, different form. Only the emphasis changes.) 
 
To the Hebrew Language Academy, I would suggest the verb lah-MODE לחמוד for to envy, as well as to covet, to which it already translates. It would have the proper emphasis on the person wanting to possess what is not his/hers, which was the original English meaning, as well as the Hebrew. 

The Tenth Commandment agrees; or rather, I agree with it: Lo tahmod לא תחמוד.
 
***
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 

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